Triangular theory of love !

Love is such an interesting thing to explore. 

Almost everyone of us is busy finding that one person to love and be loved back too.

Often we fail to understand what love is and misunderstand it for infatuation or lust or just for an interesting fact about someone.

What happens is humans dire for attention and acknowledgement. 

In my analysis and own experiences I believe is love is a experience everyone should explore atleast once be it pass or fail doesn't matter but yes everyone should know what it is. 

It's like you don't need to have it but still have to know a great deal about it.

Why this blog is named triangular theory of love because, love is based on 3 underlying characteristics intimacy, passion and commitment. I may be wrong but this is what is believe in my experiences, with people with society and also looking at history too, even movies as well.

People love each other to the extent of these components, and different combinations of these components yield different kinds of love.

Before looking at each combination of the components let's understand the meaning of each component.

Intimacy is characterized by feelings of caring, trust, understanding, concern and Closeness between two persons. Intimate partners are good friends and support each other in times of need. Intimacy is primarily emotional in nature.

Passion is characterized by intense desire, feeling of longing, need of the partner, and anxiety or worry at the thought of seperation. Passionate partners crave for each other's presence, much as people do people who experience addiction. Passion is primarily motivational in its nature.

Commitment can be character by cognition of the long lasting, or even permanence of a relationship, the stand that person will take despite any hardships that may evolve, and the confidence that the person is right one to be in. Committed partners view themselves over the long term in a  relationship. It's primarily cognitive in nature.

The combinations:

None of the combinations= non love, no love is present in any case

Intimacy alone = friendship

There is requirment if just having that oeroan nearby

Commitment alone = empty love

False promises, negative experience, lies, etc 

Intimacy+Passion = Romantic love

Absence of commitment is often the most important thing in any relationship. And if it's missing in love then it's not complete it's just for the sake of it romantic love.

Intimacy+ Commitment = Companionate love

Absence of passion is another strong pillar which goes missing. It's like a job which you're doing for the sake of it and not completely involved in it and have strong desire of not continuing further.

Passion + Commitment = Foolish love

Absence of intimacy where both partners just crave for the presence but not care for each other that's foolishness. It can be also known as 'No Strings Attached ' relationship. Where you just need the person but don't care of their feelings. 

Intimacy+Passion+Commitment= complete love.

This ones complete. Which would make the whole experience worth it. 

No matter how long or short your relationship be please ensure these three components are in place, else it'll haunt you always for the fact that there was passion but there wasn't commitment, there was intimacy but there wasn't Passion, there was commitment but there wasn't commitment. 

Often people go frustrated kn absence of passion, people go into depression in the absence of commitment and people feel bad for the absence of intimacy or care which one expects as a basic minimum thing.

I accept the fact that all the 3 components don't go hand in hand or don't develop at equal pace or each of it doesn't exist right at the same time. These components will obviously take time to develop but it shouldn't be that much of time where you get confused and confuse the other person too. 

Intimacy develops somewhat slowly, over a period of time. In relationships that succeed, intimacy continues to develop, in those relationships that fail, intimacy may go up and start going down. However in many long term Relationships, high levels of  intimacy may be difficult to sustain over periods of many years.

A good test of intimacy is whether, when there is some disruption in a relationship, that disruption brings the partners close together than falling apart.

Passion usually develops quickly and may fade quickly too. It shows a course similar to that of addiction. After a while, the 'high' of that relation is less rewarding and the low of the thought of termination of relationship is equally punishing.

Commitment develops slowly and may continue to increase successful relationships and fade away in case of unsuccessful ones. Fading of commitment can be caused by problems in relationship or even due to the entrance of competition in the relationship or even external factors which can't be controlled or even a consistent disagreement over the things which are important for one of you but not for both.

Love and relationship are all about the sacrifices and compromises you make. One has invest, invest, invest irrespective of the other person who may or may not invest back. Although relationship or love is not a single person show, but become the director of the relationship and produce reasonable outcome not for yourself but for both. 

Try it, it's worth atleast a try that too before marriage. Seriously. Marriage you'll just be imposed and invaded to each other's lives and privacy.

Try now ! And see if the combinations of the components the same with your experience too?