Reduce the fear of failure.

It's said that success amf failure are a part of same coin and it's a part of life.w

Indeed it's truez but in the society we often hear only success stories. We don't even get to hear the failure stories.

Failure people are evaluated differently than the successful people. Failure people are often discriminated, sidelined, commented questioned, doubted and even refrained to be with in a social settings.

Failure doesn't only have to be in business z it can be in studies, jobs, interviews, relationships, start-ups, tasks, etc wherever it doesn't yield the results is considered to be a failure.

Things always don't end up in our favour. Might the effort or luck is missing everytime. 

Often we feel bad about the failure experience we own that it eats us internally leaving is displaced.

Our education system rewards the best securing candidates which is a good thing but it discriminates failed candidates in such a way that the confidence of such a candidate is broken at a very young age. As per a study by independent organization, close to 8000 students face this issue every year. Our education system has the definition of failing in a subject but doesn't show us how to cope up with failure. 

Parents contribute the worst in this situation, if a child secures good grades it's well and good otherwise if a child fails he/she is scolded beaten in some cases, asked to leave the school, sent to boring tuitions, made to learn more of which nothing excites the candidates, create a boundary wall around his interest and frequently indirectly compared in non verbal forms. 

We often talk about self respect but the same thing doesn't apply to children where either they are ragged, joked, taken for granted for personal tasks, or even utilised for own gains with false information, the dignity and self respect is completely lost when things like this happen in the society. Bullying is such bad that the victims often feel scared and left with fear to interact with people, In countries like US 59,000 cases get registered for bullying, in India it's not even clearly defined what's bullying is but the result is measured in the form of failure. 

Every human has a capacity to manage stress, frustration, sadness, and problems. It's the same way a stick stiffness is measured where it's bent upto an extent of breaking. Once broken it's too late to rejoin the 2 ends. But the ability to see the level of benting of the stick lacks in us as society.

One such great movie about the ragging and it's affect which I recommend to watch is hindi movie Table no. 21.

I myself lack in managing failures but I'd definitely try writing a few tips on how to manage failure. Although I always say failure is just a term effort is what it matters and own the outcome not the output. Outcome is more important as it's related to learning and quality whereas output is attached to quantity. 

Here are a few tips -

No shame policy - 

Develop a no shame policy, advertise your complexities, publish your weakness, showcase your inability, at the end nothing happens if you're not good in something you're definitely better in something else just keep exploring. 

Join groups related to failure people, find people who fail, join online forums related to failure on Quora or on Reddit these are 2 best platforms to indulge with like minded people otherwise all other platforms are polarized towards something else.

Address the problem

Don't be an ostrich who puts her head in sand when nothing works out. You've failed good, that's the best thing happened you found a way which would not work, you don't know how much valuable it is unless you share this experience with another person who might be in a same stream to try it. Your experience may be different than his but it'd definitely help in handling the situation better. 

Learn from failure

Always keep a 3rd party view about your life and situation, doing so would help you analyse the situation and address the problem. Once identified where it went wrong come back prepared and try it. If failed again do the same process again, if got successful then use this experience to perceive future failures and act on them.

Don't hold it

One advice, don't hold it upto yourself. Release the pressure. Talk to anyone, your friend, parents, your partner, your mentor, or try to write it. Holding up things will not be helpful anytime. I always advice people to keep the sadness but not the regret. Regret will haunt you to your very last breath, but sadness will help you have hope and inspire you to move forward.

Question yourself

Okay now you're failed, what's next?

Your life finished? Is it so? Look at yourself you're still living. If a movie is completed by a director, it doesn't end his career  or task right after the movie. The director comes back with a new movie, new script, new title, new story, how does he do that? He questions himself.

Questions himself even if he's done good or bad. If done good what went good, if went bad what's bad, question, question, and question yourself you'll find answers for all of those questions, some answers many not be readily available you'll have tk do research on them too. Once a bad movie director Martin Scorsese and Ridley Scott, who's initial movies were a very bad experience for people to watch and look at them now they've redefined the whole movie watching experience with totally new level of storylines and storytelling experience from a very new perspectives. 

Question yourself and find your answer, unfortunately you'll have to do this to your own.

Focus on what you control

The worst part about we humans is that we can't control things. But we can be surely be connected to things which we feel can be controlled by us. A lot of things you worry about, are out of your hands and potentially out of chance. So don't play it with luck by chance. Play it with what's possible and what's not. What you can control and what not. Listen to your heart in this case, it'll not lie to you atleast.

Embrace it gracefully

Success and failure are not like black and white. Feeling it as all or nothing is a good thing to do, but that'd be a wrong way to look at it and it'll increase stress and anxiety in you. 

Measure your success or failure in percentage terms, how much you're able to crack it with what you expected.

These are some ways which I look at it, I'm sure you've your own ways too. Keep implementing it.

And follow up to the earlier point which is said we only tend to listen success stories and failure stories, it's because failure stories are more, it's around us, just ask your very next person what did you fail at in your life till now, ask them and they'll list down all of it. If anyone asks me what I failed at, I'd be stunnned or demotivated too, all you've show us a little more compassion, little more curiousity to learn and a little more trust that their failure will be celebrated than discriminated.

One such book about failure is The Lean Startup by Eric Ries, this person in his lifetime has started approx 17 companies and all of his companies failed. He had recorded all this learnings about what he did, how he had and what differently can be done in this book. Trust me today's startups and everywhere only his books are being implemented in the form of MVP - Minimum Viable Product. Bigger companies were built on this premise of MVP. 

Masayoshi Son founded SoftBank and lost all his wealth in the 1999 dot com bubble. And 15 years from now he's back with a $ 100 billion fund to invest in companies, he jad supported companies like Oyo, Uber, Hike, Snapdeal, Ola, come to life which we use today in daily life.

Imran Khan the present Prime minister of Pakistan, took 19 years to become a PM after setting up his party in 1999. In his first election he won zero seats, next election he won just 1 seat and in later subsequent election he didn't cross more than 10 seats and in 2018 he jumped on to become a Prime Minister by investing his efforts keeping everything at stake.

Failure doesn't matter it's how you respond to failure is that matters. 

I remember this quote, living is truth is a beautiful thing, however having get a thumbs down to society standard and sound a complete lunatic isn't a easy thing. Failure people know everything we can't teach them anything new, because they'll fail again and learn that new thing.