Is love enough?

Certainly not!

Love is not at all enough when you want to settle down in a marriage.

Although people say love is the one that survives the marriage, but it isn't.

Out of 100 close to 22 marriages break in india incase of arranged marriages and only 13 marriages fail in India yet love marriages have a high chance of rebound. 

Why love is so much important because the person, the uniqueness of that person, the efforts they put in to pursue such a relationship and even the things related to the person also get accepeted for who they are hence we tend to value to things which we've worked hard for and in arranged marriages cases things are taken for granted.

We live in a society where a girl's beauty is measured in terms of boy's earning ability. The concept of justification is itself is baseless as beauty fades away but the earnings potential increases. So why to pursue such investments? The base would be much storngers when both persons thought process match, values match and also more importantly their visions macth. 

People always try to do things which are the most easiest, diminishing the value of the core purpose and often making it an activity rather than a point where the best decision shall be deemed reliable dependable and capable strongly on commitments.

I see a lot of people where the couples complaint regarding everything to their partners, they tend to make differential changes he lives of their own partners to make them as per their perspectives, people tend to decide on the basis of compatibility but on the basis of education degree, and the funny part is that in most of the arranged marriage cases there are family problems between the in laws and the couple, coz there isn't any such acceptability of some sort there isn't anything which they should set base for to accept things the way it is, it's like they say I married him/her that's it, for him/her is my concern then where did those arranged marriage people go who made you a couple, things like this make me go insane and angry.

Love happens to be the that feeling and soft fabric between two people which holds them together irrespective of any problem they may face or in happiness.

In the toughest times it is love that bonds the couple and also accept the things related to each other the way exactly it is.

Think of it this way, you're want to become engineer with a vision of building products and things which benefit the people, you start from the base learn things, learn it's related things, build new skills, relate to new people, and work on it until it achieved and even accomplished but never leave it because it's all everything that you got and you've got to pursue it no matter what.

That's the same when a marriage is with love, you keep working and working and move forward with a vision of accomplishing that marriage without no/low losses including emotional, spiritual and transactional losses. Where you tend to accept things and learn and tend to make it better but never leave or take it for granted.

In our society everything just focused on how to break things and even how to stop things. 

In my personal experience, I had faced this similar situation where love itself was not enough, but religion was a big matter.

Although my significant other partner was also of the same situation as I'm in, we both were clear in terms of what could we offer to each other by looking at the world who are always rusticz just surviving life, submitted to the situation unable to do nothing thinking about the bad name it'd bring to family and not able to pursue their dreams and careers.

This is the sad reality of the world which often goes unnoticed, yet this is shown as a sign of men strengthening their power in more advanced manner and women tending to take household responsibility which is good but not essential. We live in an era where responsibilities needs to be shared, gone are the days where there was any difference between gender for working and developing skills.

In one of the recent interviews which I conducted in my office for hiring a few people one lady said she wants to restart her career but her husband isn't supportive I asked why not, you're sitting here and he even dropped you to this location too. She said he isn't supportive in terms of understanding or he refuses to understand the way things are meant to be understood. This was shocking yet people go on live for their children and nobody else.

I watched a movie of the same name a few weeks ago, 'Is Love Enough, sir', I'd recommend anyone to watch it. Normally no one likes movies of this type, but it has a moving story.

The actor in the lead role, is a rich, foreign educated, and runs a family business which is into architecture seperated with his wife living alone in his apartment having a maid who is the female lead actor who is uneducated, villager, married and knows just about things related to cleaning and cooking.

What worth noting is that, despite being from the different worlds they got to develop feelings for each other not because they were staying together in same roof, but because of the support each of them provided to the other person.

While she used to take care of her food and keeping the home clean and perfect. While the guy is busy working and comes home and sleeps. Both have got nothing else to do in their own lives, but they care for each other of they had eaten, asking to sleep early if the maid is tired, asking about their families if they're okay and supporting in career to pursue fashion designing.

These are simple acts of each other which made them develop feelings for each other. They didn't require money, extra effort, type of communication strategy, etc to speak to each other. The man realises his feelings and goew to his dad to speak about it, he turns a deaf ear to him and asks to go to USA so that he doesn't have to bring a bad name to his family marrying a person like her maid.

And this was the murder of innocent love of two people, while movie ended with a happy note where the man provides her a job in a designer company so she can pursue her dream and run her family and he left away never to return back. 

See it's that ugly loving someone, where you know you're just yourself with the person but society and family makes you believe you're wrong.

There are so many cases which happen around us everyday, we tend to not notice it as it doesn't belong us, it's only when it happens with us we realise how the other person could've dealt this.

Society has a simple solution of arranged marriagesz I hate arranged marriages, the idea itself is flawed, it's other name is adjusted marriage.

People who want to pursue love marriage still hold back just for the sake of parents, or family or the negative talks society would impose on their families.

Parents misuse the loyalty of the children by coercing them to believe either the parents are dead and not return back or even abuse verbally or physically.

The reason I hate arranged marriages are

- people are taken for granted

- both of them are not prepared to face eachother as by the time they get to know each other the relationship is ruptured into arguments, or even misunderstanding

- parents take the lead in terms of decision making on the basis of religion, family and money, which is good to have but the right things to also be considered are mindset, past life , decision making, thought process, priorities, vision in life, the value that girl holds with respect to the value a father considers her daughter to be.

- when misunderstanding arise things are always not sorted in private consultation, but things are discussed openly between families and elders who again support for the in laws

- life is unpredictable, anything can happen to anyone, if everyone is healthy and good its perfect but what's the back up plan in case of absence of the husband, what's the backup plan in case of husband unable to go to work, what's the backup plan in terms  emergencies arise, that point of time women are left out stranded having to do nothing

- often women are high achievers, if in a given examples, out of 100 only 40 males are successful and 67 females in terms of achieving a given task successfully. Yet women lag behind to match up with the opposite gender.

- women who often work have to deal with double work of running the household and also work at office and even take care of children where in many arrange marriage I see that cases are seen as a women should deal with it as its her job.

The real problem is that women are not respected as we respect mothers yet they are expected to be a mother of children. Which has a very vast difference.

I don't say that love marriages don't have these kind of problems, there'll be problems in this scenario too. But the difference is that both of them will be in a better position to discuss things, communicate effectively, understand the problem and pain coz you cannot see the one you love in pain or sorrow just like your parents. 

The thought process of girls is very much different than that of boys. Girls are very emotional in nature and require enough support in whatever they do, men thought process is transactional where things end when the need ends. Women ho through some of the worst times of their lives like leaving their parents home after marriages, stopping education/career, having periods which is again painful process, becoming pregnant and bearing the children and then having no respect at all in whatever they do. Yet get negative feedback about the efforts they put. A famous ceo said, if a women puts her these efforts in right place in companies she can move the company 10 times forward and females tend to be very good managers as they have multi tasking abilities. 

In simple words what I want to say is, only love is not at all possible in any way it's only possible when the thoughts are much greater than our actions.

What India is experiencing now is a generation shift which developed countries like UK, Russia and other leading nations have experienced earlier which later on became a norm for people marrying whoever they wish to, and putting in efforts to survive the marriages with a clear objective that they want the right person to live with.

But even in developed countries like Romania too, the intercaste marriage problem exists, and in india too, but there's no other way to deal with it than to accept the situation if you're strong enough go against everyone and try to deal with them else leave the situation to itself feeling helpless.

The solution may not be readily available as we've a long long way to go unless parents should give an opportunity to the people who are wishing to pursue such a life and as parents support them the best way they can. If parents don't support then you're lost and sacrifice it for their happiness which a good thing to do but it always comes with a cost ad for me the cost is depression and sadness of losing the other person and thats why I say just love is not at all enough.